Mark Simpson finds Midway ‘dumb, numb and empty of cum’ When I went to see Roland Emmerich’s teensploitation flick Midway this week I had low expectations. In fact, they were so low I almost ran aground on the way to the multiplex. Emmerich, the director-writer responsible for blockbusters such as Independence Day,… Read More »Midway to Paradise (So Near, Yet So Far Away)
‘Every time I bend down I feel I’m going to bust through the seams.’ I had no idea that ‘hockey butt’ was such a pressing problem. In fact, I’d never heard of hockey butt before I saw this viral ad. But it’s my new favourite word for big round muscle… Read More »Smart Spornowear
Went to see male strip troupe Forbidden Nights at a theatre in North East England this week – I’m a sucker for a bit of culture, me. And who could resist an evening billed as a ‘spectacle of desires, passion and excitement’ filled with ‘acrobats, fire acts, aerial artists and… Read More »Forbidden Nights Leave Ladies Short-Dicked
Maverick is back. Though of course he never went away. Since he appeared in that film back in 1986, making him one of Hollywood’s biggest box office draws, Tom Cruise remained forever Maverick for the next three decades or so. Captured like a Mayfly in director Tony Scott’s amber filters,… Read More »Top Gun Reloaded
‘Beer before wine makes you feel fine, wine before beer makes you feel queer.’ That old drinking adage may now finally have to be officially amended to wine and beer – and anything else alcoholic – in any order, make you feel queer. A recent study published in The Journal… Read More »Drunken Sodomy