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Eric de Saade’s Swedish Leather Act

Alas, our boys in Blue didn’t quite convince enough viewers last night in Düsseldorf that they are beautiful enough to wear the Eurovision Crown, and despite their liberated lyrics they looked very, er inhibited — frozen with fear, actually.

But they did manage a much better showing than the UK has done in years. Even managing to occupy the top voting spot for a brief tantalising moment (prompting a messy snog from Lee Ryan on an alarmed camera lens that couldn’t back away in time — I of course fainted on the spot).

Eurovision 2011 ended up being a contest between warbling Azeri chintzy bridal romance and leathered up Swedish fisting. I was surprised that Sweden got as many votes as it did since even I was a bit scared by the up-your-arseness of their act.

It was reassuring, in a way, that chintzy bridal romance won the official competition in the end. After all it was silly old Eurovision. But Sweden’s ‘Popular’, a song about the irrepressibility of a young leather boy’s desire to be desired, was the one that people will actually remember:

Spread the news
I’m gonna take the fight
For the spotlight, day and night

Eric Saade nearly represented Sweden at Eurovision last year with ‘Manboy’, a song possibly even more metrosexy than ‘Popular’.