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The 'Daddy' of the Metrosexual, the Retrosexual, & spawner of the Spornosexual

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Anyone Can Be Kylie Now

This viral video promoting a new X-Box dancing game is nicely done and very funny. But I think it also illustrates quite dramatically, if probably unintentionally, what metrosexuality can mean.

Although of course it’s played for giggles, the story of the male Kylie obsessive having his legs waxed and painstakingly assembling his own camp Kylie outfit, gold lame hot pants included, copying and practising her daft dance moves in his living room – and finally managing to take her place on stage – is in some ways about as serious cultural observation as you can get. In a post-metro world men are increasingly doing and wearing and using and expressing – and shaking – things which before were restricted to women. And of course, ‘gays’.

The ‘stalkers’ sexuality isn’t stated, though making him look a bit average-joe (albeit with very appealing eyes), giving him a Scottish accent (which to English ears sounds butch) and face fuzz is perhaps to discourage the viewer from assuming that he’s gay. He could be, but he could also be bi or straight. It’s immaterial – just as sexual orientation is immaterial for metrosexuality.

Anyone can be Kylie now.

And thank God the ad didn’t go down the manly strap-on route of a lot of advertising recently, and try to frantically butch up something that isn’t very butch, and start talking about ‘mandancing’ or some such shite. Though perhaps the reason this viral doesn’t do that is because it is disco dancing, after all.

Sometimes though metrosexuality isn’t just about enjoying some of the sensuality and fun that was until recently ‘only for girls’. Sometimes it can be about actually¬†taking the place of girls. And locking them in the dressing room while you prance around in their place (see also nice Mr Cameron and Clegg, who are so metro, by politician standards, they don’t appear to need many actual women in their Coalition cabinet).

But then again, post-feminism, we think nothing of women taking the place of men.

Hats off to Kylie for being such a good sport in taking part in this video – which, even if you don’t accept what I’m saying about metrosexuality, is clearly based on the idea that anyone can ‘do’ Kylie.

And what’s more, they’ll ask you back for an encore.

Tip: Andre Murracas