marksimpson.com

The 'Daddy' of the Metrosexual, the Retrosexual, & spawner of the Spornosexual

Menu Close

Cristiano Can’t Find His Shirt – But Always Knows Where the Camera Is

Cristiano Ronaldo’s latest for Armani shows him looking – not too hard – for his t-shirt.  Do you remember when maids rather than footballers were treated as sex-objects?  No?  OK, I must be getting very old indeed.  But of course this tradition is what the ad is playing on – the reversal, or reflection/refraction, of ‘the male gaze’ that has happened in the last couple of decades that is the signature style of metrosexuality.  And likewise it trumps the traditional presumption of feminine passivity and submissiveness: the maid is doing the perving.

Now, I’m all in favour of Cristiano wandering around half-naked, especially the bit where the camera zooms in on his astonishing thighs, but can we please have something just a little more convincing next time?  I mean, it’s entirely believable that he would be more interested in his favourite t-shirt than the pretty maid, but are we really supposed to believe that he wouldn’t notice someone scoping him?

After all, every cell in his breathtaking body is clearly soaking up the attention of the camera lens….

Tip: Andre Murracas