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Tim ‘No Acorn’ Oakes

I seem to have somehow missed the not entirely shocking news that Tim ‘No Acorn’ Oakes of Sandbach RUFC, the spunky rugger-bugger captain who was so keen to show off his impressive semi-tackle on national television – and very kindly let his team mates play with it – has since gone the whole hog and stripped off for, teasing the gayers with his no longer semi but fully erect assets. has some safely doctored snaps from the FamousMales shoot (albeit with the wrong kind of ball  – please try to remember you Yanks: rugby players’ balls are odd-shaped). Here’s how the shoot went according to Ethan:

Completely at ease with being naked, Tim recently stripped down for Famous Males and stood stark naked in front of them, his proud, strong nude form – beautiful and stunning. “I’ve got quite a few scars now,” Tim said. “I get well bashed about on the field. God knows what the lads will think of this when they see the pictures…hee…hee.” “JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANT ME HARD.”

I’ve seen the pics sans strategically placed football and let’s just say Tim is not only a show-er, he’s also something of a grower.  That said, I personally happen to think his ‘hammer’ is even more fetching than his ‘nail’.

His face isn’t bad either….

(Shame about the haircut, though.)

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3 thoughts on “Tim ‘No Acorn’ Oakes”

  1. Mark Walsh doth protest too much, methinks. Since no one here posited that American athletes were more or less physically attractive than European athletes, one can only presume that Mr. Walsh’s unprovoked attack on an entire nation and its athletes stems from his own insecurities and/or envy.

    Further, in the states there are many, many types of professional athletes, including but not limited to baseball players, basketball players, swimmers, hockey players, boxers, tennis players, volleyball players, golfers, martial artists, gymnasts and football players – who, by the way, are not all required to be “of huge bulk.” To proclaim that each and every one of these Yank athletes looks like a “freak” and isn’t “worth seeing” is not only asinine but also completely illogical.
    And, since a number of these fanatically religious (or so it’s alleged) U.S. athletes have indeed demonstrated a similar level of “tartyness” by posing nude in various venues, I suppose one must assume that a million years have already passed.

  2. This kind of tartyness would never ever in a million year be found in an American athlete; for one thing none of them are worth seeing naked-apart from soccer players-eg Becks. Football requires that the lads be of huge bulk by and large and not partiularly anything you would care to frolic with.-they look more like Sumo wrestlers than rugby players. Basketball asks that they be inordinately tall. You would need stilts to reach one. All freaks. Secondly,they are in likelihood religious freaks; not narcisists at all. This fellow looks a lot more becoming than the College Rugby players I;ve seen here: not so chubby.: in better shape.

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