Initially, you’re presented with a row of appetising male and female bums with smiley faces drawn on them, happy mouth directly over bumhole. Then the bums change into appetising smiley faces. Which one would you like to sit on?
Personally, I think the perky dark-haired man, third along looks like he has a very comfortable face. Since he does most of the talking, we know his tongue works just fine. I wonder how warm and invigorating his pulsing spray action is? As the site tells us, ‘everyone deserves to be pampered’. In the interests of equal-opps I should say the women look quite comfy too – though I worry slightly about the second lady from the left’s large teeth.
Alas, none of these fresh-faced, grinning rimmers are available for purchase. Instead, you have to make do with the ‘Washlet’, an automatic, Japanese-made rim-chair that you attach to your toilet and operate the warm water spray and drying air jet by remote control. It’s probably not as much fun as an eager tongue and is anyway officially meant to be only used as a way of improving bottom hygeine, but it might make it more likely you’ll actually get to feel one.
Either way the Washlet, which has just been squirted in the face of an unsuspecting US public, will definitely help to put Americans, male and female, even more in touch with their anality.
The mainstream interest in bum love has become so pronounced of late that New York Magazine and Details have noticed it – five years after I pointed out on Salon.com the popularity of heterosodomy and how it had become the ‘unholy grail of metrosexual sex’. (Perhaps coincidentally, Washlet are now heavily advertising on Salon.)
Anal play might still be unholy, but, thanks to the Washlet, it’s now clean and happy!
(Can I have my fee now?)