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Mark Simpson provokes diplomatic incident Down Under

It seems my joshing, bantering, rib-poking review for the Independent on Sunday of a book about Australian sports has not been taken in the manly fashion it was meant Down Under.  Au contraire, it appears to have caused outrage and even threatens to break-up the Commonwealth.

Philip Knightley, columnist on the main Australian daily the Sydney Morning Herald, quotes this line from it: ‘Australia, like Australian skin, is much better in long-shot.  Australia is much more Australian from a distance.  Close up, it’s just not really worth 24 hours of recirculated flu viruses, deep-vein thrombosis and ‘Love Actually’.  It’s been left out in the sun too long.’ 

Apparently, despite talking elsewhere about how much the British these days are brimming with ‘Ozspirations’ and in fact desperate to become Australian, my quip proves why Australia should cut its ties with the treacherous, Aussie-hating Mother Country and become a Republic immediately. 

Australian skin clearly isn’t as thick as it looks.  Whingeing Aussies.