Assume the position: a queer defence of hazing

September’s Out magazine features an essay ‘Assume the position’ by yours truly defending hazing.  An ancient masculine ritual that almost all respectable people now oppose.  Including of course respectable gays.

One out-raged reader has already described the essay as being the ‘lowest, most immoral homo-commentary I’ve ever read’.  Oh, you’re just saying that.  I’d love to believe it was true.

Here’s the opener:

‘When I joined my local rugby team, I was made to do terrible, awful things. Even now, all these years later, I feel distressed and choked up recounting what happened. I had to stand on a chair as a full pint of beer was shoved in my groin, soaking it. I then had to drink a yard of ale (three pints in a yard-long horn-shaped glass) with a bucket in front of me. Later, several of us had to run around the rugby pitch stark naked. In January.
     I was traumatized. I may never recover. This wasn’t what I had signed up for! I want to complain. I’m gonna sue! Someone’s gotta pay! You see, it was a terrible,  awful, wounding… disappointment. It was just all so restrained.’

Read the essay here.